A Deep Dive into Today’s Subtle Misogyny Towards Women

“He is a gentleman, and I am a gentleman's daughter. So far we are equal.”

– Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

During almost every year of my education, I was asked to describe myself. Usually in three words, on the first day of class, when the teacher wanted us to introduce ourselves. My word choices have definitely gone through enormous changes every year. I likely started with “blonde” or “happy”, and I would now probably use “ambitious” or “dependable.” I can’t even begin to imagine how I will describe myself in another 20 years.

However, one thing that I can promise in these introductions is that I have and will never call myself “somebody’s daughter.” I have never felt it necessary to speak about myself based on my relation to someone else, but this description has only risen in popularity ever since I threw out three adjectives about myself on the first day of kindergarten.

In fact, this type of language is totally mainstream today. The unwritten rule of a woman constantly being tied to her relationship with a male is not only common, but expected. It is this language, rooted in subtle misogyny, that society deems acceptable when describing women.

She’s Somebody’s Daughter

“She’s somebody’s daughter” and other comparable phrases are common expressions used to refer to women in various aspects of life. They are often used to make women appear more “human” to male speakers as its most popular uses reveal. In a popular wedding song by Drew Baldridge, for example, its used to show that “she’s more than a piece of meat,” and it is similarly used as a title of an organization which aims to spread awareness of sex trafficking. And, literally speaking, it is true. Every woman is somebody’s daughter; the problem with this phrase is that the “somebody” is almost always her father.

In the aforementioned Drew Baldridge song, the singer says that the daughter’s father “bought her her first car, taught her how to drive,” and “scared her senior prom date.” She’s “a daddy’s girl,” is repeated often within the lyrics and the music video. Both mentions of “mama,” however, are when she is needed to wipe her daughter’s tears or her own. “Mama” is just a side character in this woman’s story, and Baldridge makes it clear who’s daughter she is.

Former U.S. President Donald Trump explained that he “[respects] women because [he is] a father, grandfather, uncle, of women,” suggesting that basic human respect towards women is only received based on her relationship to a male. Such misogyny is effective, in a way. Many men find it much easier to be nasty to a coworker when they forget she is a woman similar to one they may have a special relationship with, such as their mother or daughter.

I am often referred to as my father’s daughter because of our overlapping traits, but why do so many men feel obligated to point out that I received the positive parts of myself from my father?

Of course, I love my father. I am my father’s daughter in every sense of the word: snarky, smart, stubborn. But I am just as much my mother’s daughter: intelligent, hardworking, devoted, supportive, understanding. Yet rarely am I ever referenced as her daughter. “Mother’s daughter” has not gained near the amount of popularity. 

Furthermore, beyond my parental heritage, I am a woman. I am unlike my parents in several ways because I am an individual with my own experiences. I am my own woman, and one doesn’t have to know that I am my father’s daughter or my brother’s sister to respect me the same way a man respects another man.

The Misogyny Pandemic of 2022

The increase of misogynistic language in recent history has not gone unnoticed, and I fear that the accessibility of  this language is why it has escalated so quickly. The summer of 2022 was met with an uptick in woman-hating influencers, namely podcasters like Andrew Tate, who gained a large following and was then banned from multiple social media platforms following his misogynistic and hateful messages. Some of the ideals that Tate has spread on social media spread to a large following of impressionable school-aged boys include “women belong in the home, can’t drive, and are a man’s property[,]” and that women “bear responsibility” if they are sexually assaulted. Though Tate himself has been removed from TikTok, videos tagged #AndrewTate boast over 14 billion views.

Although most women on social media scoff at these antiquated viewpoints, Tate’s reign of terror over TikTok is infecting a new generation of young boys. Many teachers claim that Tate is “radicalizing” their male students. Tate, who has compared women to dogs and has gone so far as to encourage boys to refuse to read work written by women, is having a very real impact.

On top of the addictive, easy-to-find TikToks that are reaching young boys, older generations have not been spared from this increase of hate. Dennis Prager, a columnist for The Daily Signal and the creator of PragerU, has already been deemed a misogynist. Prager went viral on Twitter in August of this year for his article “Women Are Disproportionately Hurting Our Country.” He equates the male desire to become violent or sexually deviant to a woman’s incapability in “[controlling] their emotions.” He believes that the most recent generations of parents “did not teach many of their daughters to control their emotions and think rationally[,]” and that “[t]he result is that women are disproportionately active in doing damage to our society.”

So what? A column writer’s distaste for women should not matter much, except for the alarming amount of positive feedback in his comment sections. Because Prager is the mastermind behind PragerU, his influence on the content that goes out to homeschooled children might be the largest source of information that some children receive. His opinion may be one that is widely shared in households without outside resources. PragerU’s videos have accumulated a total of over 1 billion views since 2012.

This newfound accessibility to misogynistic language is expanding at an alarming rate. It is being normalized and even praised every single day, so much so that I fear we may be headed backwards when it comes to feminism and equality. A recent survey concluded that “a majority of [right wing] men under 50[,] and a near majority of their Democratic counterparts, say feminism has ‘done more harm than good.’” The most likely group to see feminism in a negative light are white Republican men, with 62% of the younger Republican men agreeing with the aforementioned statement. This leads me to believe that the consistent and overall acceptance of subtle (or not so subtle) misogyny in everyday tasks, including scrolling through TikTok or reading articles online, may be doing much more than silent harm when it comes to the general consensus on women’s rights.

In Closing

The Golden Rule that most students are taught before they can even read a book is to treat others as you would like to be treated. We are often told that our words can hurt more than our actions, and that treating others with respect is the key point in social interactions. So what do we do when the world around us is telling our boys that this rule isn’t important anymore?

Banning Andrew Tate is a fantastic start considering his content was so accessible to young children. Though it can still be found, it is less likely to show up on a TikTok “For You” Page now that the original poster is banned. However, it isn’t realistic to attempt to ban every social media user with bigoted viewpoints. Instead, like most social issues, it comes down to education.

Teachers reported to multiple families that their sons were parroting Tate’s sexist ideals, so the responsibility unfortunately and inevitably falls onto the parents to get their children back on the right track. However, giving parents the opportunity to educate their children could (debatably) be a positive outcome. Parents can use the all too common misogynistic viewpoint of only respecting women who are relatives to their advantage. It might be a wake up call for young boys telling their mothers that they “belong in the kitchen.” Although this trend is very disheartening to watch as a young woman, I sincerely believe there is hope to turn these boys back in the right direction. For every Andrew Tate, there is a Drew Afualo. For every misogynist, there is a necessary counterbalance of respect and tolerance.