The Ethics of Workplace Relationships

Unless you’re completely cut off from any form of social media, the search terms “Try Guys” and “Ned Fulmer” might ring a bell after the last few weeks of drama unfolded on your timelines. They may even be in your Twitter search history. On September 27, multiple photos leaked of YouTube comedy quartet Try Guys’ Ned Fulmer in several locations, kissing a woman who was not his beloved, fan-favorite wife Ariel. After a bit of research, fans of the group realized that the woman was none other than Alexandria (“Alex”) Herring, an associate producer for the Try Guys who had worked alongside the group since 2018.

So what? Husbands cheat on their wives every day. This issue might not have been so publicized if it weren’t for the fact that Fulmer had branded himself as a “Wife Guy,” creating an entire empire surrounding the healthy relationship he shared with his wife of over ten years. The two recently released a cookbook together and spoke at a university about relationship ethics. The Try Guys’ main YouTube Channel has a playlist dedicated to the two, and there are a multitude of YouTube compilation videos depicting Ned and Ariel’s seemingly wholesome love for one another. The Fulmer family boasts two young sons and has a podcast called “Baby Steps,” where Ned and Ariel talk about their experiences in parenthood. The two exposed the very intimate details of their relationship to millions of people, so when the photos of Ned and Alex were released, longtime fans of the Try Guys were more than disappointed—they were outraged.

The most shocking part of the scandal was how quickly it was resolved. Mere hours after the leaked photos had stirred the public, the Try Guys released a statement saying that “Ned Fulmer is no longer working with the Try Guys” after a “thorough internal review.” This multi-platform post, alongside Fulmer’s statement which led to a brief 48-hour Internet trend mocking the term “consensual workplace relationship,” immediately sparked conversation about the ethics of workplace relationships.

Fulmer, BuzzFeed, and Workplace Affairs

Ned Fulmer co-developed the Try Guys brand and their company, 2nd Try, LLC, with his fellow content creators Eugene Lee Yang, Keith Habersberger, and Zach Kornfeld. Alexandria Herring was promptly hired the same year that the company was founded, starting out as a production manager after leaving a similar position at BuzzFeed. Despite the fact that Fulmer, 35, and Herring, 31, were consenting adults, the affair caused a whirlpool of discussion regarding the propriety of dating one’s employee.

Relationships between bosses and employees are not automatically illegal, whether they be sexual or romantic. However, issues may arise when the imbalance of power between employee and employer is considered. For instance, it is illegal to commit workplace sexual harrassment, including “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other words or actions that create a hostile or offensive work environment based on a person’s sex.” This would be a textbook violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Some interpreted Fulmer’s affair as an average consensual relationship. But others brought up the fact that not only was Fulmer Herring’s boss, but also that only the couple knew what type of relationship was happening behind closed doors. Many feared that Herring could have been stuck in a non-consensual relationship that she was unable to leave, since her boss had the power to threaten her career if things soured. However, these claims are fictitious and Herring has made no statement with her side of the story. Thus, Fulmer’s claim that they had a “consensual workplace relationship” is the only reliable description of their affair proffered thus far.

But what if it wasn’t consensual on both sides? When does a workplace relationship cross the line into sexual abuse?

Power Dynamics in Non-Consensual Workplace Relationships

Correctional officer Leticia Cornella had a one-night stand with Scott Lancaster, her supervisor at the time. Cornella decided not to pursue a relationship because Lancaster was her boss, and he agreed. However, he then began making sexual advances towards Cornella, which she promptly refused. Lancaster continued this behavior, and was verbally abusive at their shared workspace until he was transferred. When he returned to the same station as Cornella, he continued to harass her. Cornella had to take an unpaid leave of absence under the Family Medical Leave Act, and an internal investigator at the Department of Corrections told her that because their first sexual encounter was consensual, the Department did not have the power to proceed further.

Despite the fact that many boss-employee relationships are consensual, unlike Leticia Cornella and Scott Lancaster’s, managerial power is a recurring issue in the workplace. The problem is so large that a 2017 Harvard Business Review research project worked to prove that “[t]argets of abuse can flip the script, shifting the balance of power in their favor when bosses make life miserable” in order to “strategically influence supervisors to stop abuse and even motivate them to mend strained relationships.” The predator-prey dynamic that could follow can fuel a hostile workplace. Some office romances can lead to concerns about “[p]ower imbalances . . . and allegations of bias and favoritism can throw an office into turmoil.” Others can lead to litigation.

Dr. Madeleine Fugère, a professor of Social Psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University, notes that “[w]hether there’s just the appearance of impropriety — for example, an employee thinking a coworker is getting extra perks because of their relationship with their boss — or a truly improper relationship where someone is looking to abuse their power, [the relationship] can create problems.” These realities motivate rules that prohibit relationships between employees, especially because “the relationship might not last forever, [and] you’re going to be working with someone who you’ve just ended a romantic relationship with, and that can be pretty uncomfortable.”

Morally speaking, no: if you’re an employer, it is not technically illegal or immoral to date your employee if there is no strict rule within your company’s codes stating that such relationships are forbidden. However, it can lead to ethical dilemmas, termination, break ups, or photos of your sexy night at the club getting spread all over the internet and causing SNL to perform a poorly-written, unfunny, and oddly offensive skit about you.